ltgmars: (Default)
Everyone predicted that I would fall off the updating wagon soon enough, but I didn't realize it'd be that quickly! Every few days I'd be like "ohgosh gotta post" and then I'd just never get around to it, so now's the time! I will do it! Here's a super boring and rambly rundown of my last few months:

- Late March/early April: Went to my cousin's wedding in Indonesia with my mom, which was a super fun and fulfilling trip. It was really nice to be with my extended family, even though I couldn't navigate the language enough to speak back when spoken to (I'm one of those "understands it but can't produce it" kids), and even though I basically know nothing about them. There was something so comfortable and familiar about those people and that culture, even though I don't actively think about it as being a part of who I am; it was nice to spend a week reminded that I have this whole chunk of people on the other side of the world who care very much about me even if I only talk to them once every ten years or so. I know family is really messed up for a lot of people, so I feel incredibly fortunate and grateful that mine are such a good bunch.

- Early May: Needed a change of scenery, so I made a quick trip to Japan that coincidentally(?!?!) lined up nicely with Golden Week/Johnny's WEST in Yokohama Arena! Fancy that!! XD What an amazingly fun concert that was, even though we were the ~loud Americans~ and Meghan basically had to keep to herself the entire time because I'm pretty sure she was ashamed to be seen with us. :'D That makes my third Johnny's concert (after Arashi and Kanjani8 in November-December), and I feel like I'm ticking them off at a good pace. :3

I also had a tour and pseudo-interview with the company I'll be working for when I move to Japan. I... actually don't think I've talked about it in any detail here, but basically:

moving to Japan and things )

- Late June: Some random folks I kind of knew from college got married. William asked me to be in his wedding party as a "groomsperson" (was the title I gave myself), and I was Real Cute, NEGL (I bought a black jacket/vest/skirt to create the femme version of what the guys were wearing, with the tie rented from Men's Wearhouse). It was actually a bit overwhelming how fun the weekend was and I don't think I'd be able to adequately express what it meant to me to be there, but generally, it was one of the best weekends in a very long with a bunch of old friends. (Also got to spend a day with the illustrious Tey, with whom I saw animals and a lack-of-animals and it was just... so fun?? Glad we were able to make it happen. ♥) Goodbyes were a little surreal because I realized it'd probably be the last time I saw many of them for a long time (probably not until the next wedding, or longer); I don't even know if Japan is going to be a permanent home for me or if I'll come back to the US at some point, and that makes this feeling even more intangible/difficult to process, but I'm really glad that I got to spend such a special weekend with so many of the faces I love.

- Lately: Been in my weird anxious phase about my high school trauma (basically watching my friends become better friends with each other and leave me behind) and writing complex (can't read fic because it makes me legitimately sick to my stomach to read good writing, even though plenty of those same people tell me they love my writing). But I want to write more because sometimes I do feel really good about writing, but a lot of it is that I want to prove myself and have people recognize me as ~so good~ or whatever, and that feels kind of weird and rude and unnecessarily competitive to me. Eh, eh, life, adulthood, eh.

Hm, I'll learn how to make these entries interesting someday. XD Um I wanted to end with something about Bun-chan because I love him so much, but I actually have nothing specific to say. Just know that I love him so much.

A little happiness: I got new running shorts yesterday! To fend off that weird tan I've developed while wearing running pants where my shins/calves are super tan but my thighs are super white. I actually think my thighs are incredibly gross, but it's not my problem how other people feel about seeing them. :D More exercise means they'll be less gross someday anyway, so~
ltgmars: (Default)
It's been a long, long time since I've updated this thing, and while I still check my f-list several times a day, I think I've forgotten how nice it feels just to talk about myself into the ether to the handful of ears still roaming around.

I've been trying to be more health-conscious (more mentally and emotionally than physically, because at least physically I have a sense of what I need to achieve my goals even if I'm not actually doing a damn thing), and one of the things I've been working on is being in a healthy, happy headspace -- cutting out bad thoughts about myself and about other people, trying to be less judgmental and more open to appreciating the good around me.

Anyone who's following me on Twitter knows that my Johnny's a la mode is Johnny's WEST's Hama-chan, who is, behind all the panic and absurdity, an Inocchi-level sweet dude and good person. Hama-chan ends his Jweb entries with that quote attributed to Mother Teresa about how you should be careful of your thoughts because they become words become actions become habits become destiny; the way Hama-chan lives his life so, so conscious of and grateful for the people around him -- so that he can look back on each day without regrets, so that he can be glad that he said or did the things he said or did to the people he encountered -- is very much the kind of day-to-day I aspire to in my own life. I can't say that I'm there yet because I'm still a douchebag on a daily basis even to my closest friends, even if in my head it comes from a place of love and concern but out loud it's criminally insensitive, but it's nice to know that there are people out there who do live up to that ideal. Hama-chan makes me want to be a better person -- all my idols do -- and isn't that just wonderful?

A small happiness to end this post with: a while back I saw some Pokémon figurines at Target, purportedly from some Pokémon board game I didn't know existed, and I saw a pack that had Wobbuffet in it. Wobbuffet is for whatever reason my brother's internet "persona" -- all of his Twitter icons have been various states of Wobbuffet -- so I bought the pack and put the little Wobbuffet figurine on his computer to wait for him to come back from class. Neither of us ever brought it up -- though I know he knows it was from me because my parents wouldn't know what it means -- but after some time he changed his Twitter icon to a photo of the figurine, and that's about as much acknowledgment as I need.

Looking forward to being back on LJ. Talk to you again soon, friends. ♥


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July 2015

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