the usual ennui
Oct. 29th, 2010 01:09![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
ltgmarsNot that I have a lot of ennui. I just like the word.
Feeling bleh about my writing, as usual. I won't get into it since I've already angsted about it enough, but I just haven't been excited about anything I've written lately, and I feel like I'm never going to get back to the writing that I've done that I really liked. Eh.
Stopped by my history professor's office the other day because I totally phoned in on the assignments last week and I wanted to apologize. Ended up crying in his office about how I don't feel like I belong in grad school because what seems to come so easily to everyone else is jarringly, frustratingly difficult for me. He basically told me that none of the other students necessarily knows any better than I do and that he can tell that my discomfort isn't from not understanding the material but instead from not liking what it is I understand. I guess it makes sense, because this one history class is single-handedly deconstructing the way I've learned and thought of the world for 22 (now 23! woo!) years, and maybe I'm just having trouble coming to terms with it. Though it doesn't help that it does so through thousands of pages of dense European philosophy. I don't care what you think I'm feeling, Professor, that stuff's hard to get through. D:
日本語の方で、まぁ、頑張ります、普通に。古文の授業はすごく楽しいけど英語で教えられるそのせいか、話すのは全然進行してない。でもノートはきれいだよ。英語の間に日本語がスッと入れられてるもん。私の字はね、英語のも日本語のも好きだよ。本人が言うけどね。（笑）
Headed up to Seattle for the weekend to see Halley~. No rompin' around in West Hollywood this year (apparently the Philly South Street equivalent?). Though the friend I'd actually go with, Michael, wouldn't be able to make it anyway, since he works on Halloween. I guess we'll save it for next year.
On the fandom front, I'm slowly coming to terms with how adorable I find Ryo (though his drunken escapades will never not be funny). I lead such a difficult life, I know.
Feeling bleh about my writing, as usual. I won't get into it since I've already angsted about it enough, but I just haven't been excited about anything I've written lately, and I feel like I'm never going to get back to the writing that I've done that I really liked. Eh.
Stopped by my history professor's office the other day because I totally phoned in on the assignments last week and I wanted to apologize. Ended up crying in his office about how I don't feel like I belong in grad school because what seems to come so easily to everyone else is jarringly, frustratingly difficult for me. He basically told me that none of the other students necessarily knows any better than I do and that he can tell that my discomfort isn't from not understanding the material but instead from not liking what it is I understand. I guess it makes sense, because this one history class is single-handedly deconstructing the way I've learned and thought of the world for 22 (now 23! woo!) years, and maybe I'm just having trouble coming to terms with it. Though it doesn't help that it does so through thousands of pages of dense European philosophy. I don't care what you think I'm feeling, Professor, that stuff's hard to get through. D:
日本語の方で、まぁ、頑張ります、普通に。古文の授業はすごく楽しいけど英語で教えられるそのせいか、話すのは全然進行してない。でもノートはきれいだよ。英語の間に日本語がスッと入れられてるもん。私の字はね、英語のも日本語のも好きだよ。本人が言うけどね。（笑）
Headed up to Seattle for the weekend to see Halley~. No rompin' around in West Hollywood this year (apparently the Philly South Street equivalent?). Though the friend I'd actually go with, Michael, wouldn't be able to make it anyway, since he works on Halloween. I guess we'll save it for next year.
On the fandom front, I'm slowly coming to terms with how adorable I find Ryo (though his drunken escapades will never not be funny). I lead such a difficult life, I know.
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Date: 2010-10-29 09:32 (UTC)this is the first time that I've used my new matsujun icon xDno subject
Date: 2010-10-29 09:49 (UTC)Aw, Jun's so pretty! :D
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Date: 2010-10-29 12:45 (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-10-30 06:49 (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-10-29 13:30 (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-10-30 06:50 (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-10-29 21:21 (UTC)and Happy birthdaaaaaaay~
The forum and LJ rminded me, I have no contact details so I decided to put it up here haha~ All the best!
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Date: 2010-10-30 06:50 (UTC)(I added you on Twitter~)
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Date: 2010-10-30 09:27 (UTC)Gad to see you're back on the forums :3
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Date: 2010-10-29 22:23 (UTC)oh no!! a fly landed on the flowers I got for Inez...
aww shit, I dropped her cake!! :O
happy birthday...:D
sorry school has been sucky for you, hope things get better and you have an awesome birthweek!! hit me up if you want to hang out in seattle :)
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Date: 2010-10-30 06:52 (UTC)Ahh, I totally thought of you when I was making Seattle plans, but I think we're keeping it simple this weekend to combat the rest of Halloween. Next time I'm up here, though? :D?
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Date: 2010-10-30 20:27 (UTC)sounds good! enjoy the rain ;)
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Date: 2010-10-30 18:21 (UTC)Ah, good luck to you, too. We can definitely do this! :D
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Date: 2010-11-01 22:13 (UTC)It's both awesome and incredibly creepy times. LOL. Oh Philly.
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Date: 2010-11-02 04:22 (UTC)