![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
ltgmarsDay One: Ten things you want to say to ten different people right now.
Day Two: Nine things about yourself.
Day Three: Eight ways to win your heart.
Day Four: Seven things that cross your mind a lot.
Day Five: Six things you wish you’d never done.
1. That. A grand total of five people know the full extent of what "That" is -- my four best friends from college, and another person from college on my f-list. Don't bother asking what it is; I won't tell you -- I regret it that much. But I think about it on a near-daily basis, and it's got me pretty messed up emotionally. I guess what really gets me is that it changed my self-perception for the worse, even though to anyone else it might be just "one of those things" and in the long run it shouldn't -- doesn't -- matter. Sometimes it feels really petty of me to be so hung up about it when I was still in a comparatively hugely privileged position at the time, but honestly, that doesn't change how I feel about it as it pertains to my life.
(As far as regrets go, I don't have many. The only thing that really comes to mind is That. Anything else I've regretted doing I've come to terms with and learned to appreciate as a part of my life. (Goodness, I'm so hokey sometimes.) I suppose That may also eventually fall into that category of regretted-but-learned-from, but it's not there yet. What remains are really just a bunch of trivial "shouldn't have done that"s.)
2. Run into a wall teeth-first. (See the first item from Day Two.) :E It racked up a lot of dental bills, top to bottom, from cosmetic dental surgery to braces to root canals to everything else. I'm also kind of convinced that my wisdom teeth might have grown in fine if I hadn't gotten braces, but who's to say? I actually enjoyed getting my wisdom teeth removed (or at least the going under part), so maybe I don't regret it on that point.
3. Not said anything to my crush in eighth grade. In high school I started chatting him up (he went to a different high school) and found out that we both really liked each other back then -- to the point where our friends teased us about it -- but neither of us said anything. The last day I really saw him in grade school was our eighth grade trip to Cedar Point. We'd all come back and were waiting for our parents to pick us up. When his dad (who was one of the chaperones) decided to leave, I watched them walk to the car, and waffled, and ended up not stopping him to say something. When I was talking to him about it a couple of years later, he told me that he'd considered saying something to me that night but that I was busy talking to other people (which was likely my way of trying to look like I wasn't looking at him too much). Ahh, youth. XD It would have been fun to see if that went anywhere. We did see a movie or two together in high school, but nothing really came from that -- it was more like friends who used to have mad crushes on each other going to the movies together. And we invited each other to our sophomore midwinter semiformals, but neither of us could go to the other's. Anyway, now he's engaged (craaaaazy), but I do wonder sometimes.
4. Any number of uninformed purchases. I've got a fairly quick clicker-finger, so I've bought quite a few things that weren't what I was looking for/weren't compatible with what I needed them to be compatible with/didn't end up being useful/couldn't be returned when I was feeling stupid about it later. I've learned to be a smidge more careful about spending my money, so it's not like I haven't grown from it. But if I hadn't made those purchases over the years, I'd probably be a few hundred dollars (maybe even a thousand dollars? yeesh, hopefully not that much) richer. I need those few hundred dollars!
5. Given up halfway through the second semester of senior year of college. "To be fair" (i.e., please give me a moment to justify senioritis after having been accepted into grad school), second semester senior year was the semester That happened, including perhaps the six most miserable weeks of my life as a part of the aftermath. But what ended up happening was that I stopped really caring about school and extracurriculars and whatnot. I wish I'd just barreled through, because if I had, my Chinese would have still been passable, and I would have been able to get much more out of the polisci course that I'd been really enjoying. But again, you live and you learn. Maybe I'll brush up on my Chinese this summer.
6. Messed up my sleep schedule. I don't even know what timezone I'm in anymore. Some days it's West Coast, some days it's East Coast, some days it's Japan, some days I don't sleep... D:
Day Six: Five people who mean a lot (in no order whatsoever).
Day Seven: Four turn offs.
Day Eight: Three turn ons.
Day Nine: Two images that describe your life right now, and why.
Day Ten: One confession.
Day Two: Nine things about yourself.
Day Three: Eight ways to win your heart.
Day Four: Seven things that cross your mind a lot.
Day Five: Six things you wish you’d never done.
1. That. A grand total of five people know the full extent of what "That" is -- my four best friends from college, and another person from college on my f-list. Don't bother asking what it is; I won't tell you -- I regret it that much. But I think about it on a near-daily basis, and it's got me pretty messed up emotionally. I guess what really gets me is that it changed my self-perception for the worse, even though to anyone else it might be just "one of those things" and in the long run it shouldn't -- doesn't -- matter. Sometimes it feels really petty of me to be so hung up about it when I was still in a comparatively hugely privileged position at the time, but honestly, that doesn't change how I feel about it as it pertains to my life.
(As far as regrets go, I don't have many. The only thing that really comes to mind is That. Anything else I've regretted doing I've come to terms with and learned to appreciate as a part of my life. (Goodness, I'm so hokey sometimes.) I suppose That may also eventually fall into that category of regretted-but-learned-from, but it's not there yet. What remains are really just a bunch of trivial "shouldn't have done that"s.)
2. Run into a wall teeth-first. (See the first item from Day Two.) :E It racked up a lot of dental bills, top to bottom, from cosmetic dental surgery to braces to root canals to everything else. I'm also kind of convinced that my wisdom teeth might have grown in fine if I hadn't gotten braces, but who's to say? I actually enjoyed getting my wisdom teeth removed (or at least the going under part), so maybe I don't regret it on that point.
3. Not said anything to my crush in eighth grade. In high school I started chatting him up (he went to a different high school) and found out that we both really liked each other back then -- to the point where our friends teased us about it -- but neither of us said anything. The last day I really saw him in grade school was our eighth grade trip to Cedar Point. We'd all come back and were waiting for our parents to pick us up. When his dad (who was one of the chaperones) decided to leave, I watched them walk to the car, and waffled, and ended up not stopping him to say something. When I was talking to him about it a couple of years later, he told me that he'd considered saying something to me that night but that I was busy talking to other people (which was likely my way of trying to look like I wasn't looking at him too much). Ahh, youth. XD It would have been fun to see if that went anywhere. We did see a movie or two together in high school, but nothing really came from that -- it was more like friends who used to have mad crushes on each other going to the movies together. And we invited each other to our sophomore midwinter semiformals, but neither of us could go to the other's. Anyway, now he's engaged (craaaaazy), but I do wonder sometimes.
4. Any number of uninformed purchases. I've got a fairly quick clicker-finger, so I've bought quite a few things that weren't what I was looking for/weren't compatible with what I needed them to be compatible with/didn't end up being useful/couldn't be returned when I was feeling stupid about it later. I've learned to be a smidge more careful about spending my money, so it's not like I haven't grown from it. But if I hadn't made those purchases over the years, I'd probably be a few hundred dollars (maybe even a thousand dollars? yeesh, hopefully not that much) richer. I need those few hundred dollars!
5. Given up halfway through the second semester of senior year of college. "To be fair" (i.e., please give me a moment to justify senioritis after having been accepted into grad school), second semester senior year was the semester That happened, including perhaps the six most miserable weeks of my life as a part of the aftermath. But what ended up happening was that I stopped really caring about school and extracurriculars and whatnot. I wish I'd just barreled through, because if I had, my Chinese would have still been passable, and I would have been able to get much more out of the polisci course that I'd been really enjoying. But again, you live and you learn. Maybe I'll brush up on my Chinese this summer.
6. Messed up my sleep schedule. I don't even know what timezone I'm in anymore. Some days it's West Coast, some days it's East Coast, some days it's Japan, some days I don't sleep... D:
Day Six: Five people who mean a lot (in no order whatsoever).
Day Seven: Four turn offs.
Day Eight: Three turn ons.
Day Nine: Two images that describe your life right now, and why.
Day Ten: One confession.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2010-12-01 04:30 (UTC)well, whatever, at least now i know why you were being an immensely unfriendly jerk during that time (more so than usual, when you're just an unfriendly jerk).
but, seriously, i hope you find peace with it.
and i didn't even know that you like men. huh.
i am learning so much about you. next time i want to talk to you, i won't call, i will just draw up an internet meme and infiltrate it on your f-list.
no subject
Date: 2010-12-01 04:42 (UTC)Also whatever, I'm super friendly all the time.
no subject
Date: 2010-12-01 04:45 (UTC)well, true. i can think of two occasions!
01. you were being quite friendly when you compulsively bought me that eito DVD. ♥
02. and you were almost being friendly when you called me a stalker for sending you birthday presents.
no subject
Date: 2010-12-01 04:48 (UTC)ALSO Shawn Hatosy keeps Tweeting about being on set for Southland and I'm like "UNNNFFF SHAWN HATOSY".
no subject
Date: 2010-12-01 04:49 (UTC)(oh my god, how great was that thing that nino recently said? oh my god, he and jun are so ________! and of course that ohmiya moment recently? hehehe OT3!)
three comments in. is this a new record?
Date: 2010-12-01 04:51 (UTC)Re: three comments in. is this a new record?
Date: 2010-12-01 04:52 (UTC)awww lookit them
Date: 2010-12-01 04:53 (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-12-01 04:36 (UTC)tumblr knows the extent of our friendship:
edit: yes, i know, i know i asked you to and you did not just steal them and correct them for fun (although you might?). thanks for that, grumble.
no subject
Date: 2010-12-01 04:44 (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-12-01 04:47 (UTC)(i know, i know: if i wanted my comeback, i would've wiped it off your mom's chin.)
no subject
Date: 2010-12-01 04:48 (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-12-01 05:41 (UTC)Oh dude, I can totally empathize if That is what I think it is. :|
Also, I also make random stupid purchases (I'm awful, I like shiny things).
<3 JIAYOU INEZ! I heart you! :)
no subject
Date: 2010-12-01 05:49 (UTC)XIEXIE STACY. Wo hen xing ni. <3
no subject
Date: 2010-12-01 06:12 (UTC)2 Wisdom teeth... Actually, dental in general... :|
3 This! I totally get this like there is no tomorrow (and oh hey, grade eight). Except, my person was a year younger than me, and in the end, later on we went through a rough patch of ego stuff...
6 Story of my life, except I've never travelled extremely time zone wise... Ooo, that might make me an insomniac then...
no subject
Date: 2010-12-01 08:57 (UTC)3. Hmm, it's so interesting to think about sometimes. It's kind of a fun and harmless "what if", you know? There's no real sadness or regret behind it, just curiosity.
6. Ahh, Ashley, your sleeping pattern scares me sometimes. But I guess if that's what you're used to... XD
no subject
Date: 2010-12-01 09:44 (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-12-01 06:17 (UTC)Ugh I totally agree about sleep schedule, it's happening to me as well. It sucks. Good luck with your Chinese study! I'm slightly ashamed that I can't speak Chinese at all (nor have the will to learn) despite the fact that I'm Chinese... Er, jiayou! Wo... rooting for ni! Lmao. Yeah, my ability is about there.
no subject
Date: 2010-12-01 08:58 (UTC)Hahaha, what is that Chinese. XDD I'm hoping to pick up Chinese again next year, just for fun, so I'd better get on it. I'm kind of happy just being decent at Japanese, though. I guess I'm too lazy for two languages. XD
no subject
Date: 2010-12-01 06:44 (UTC)ALSO, EVERY TIME ONE OF YOUR POSTS POPS UP ON MY FLIST, I MISS YOU IMMENSELY, WHY DID I NOT SPEND MORE TIME WITH YOU WHILE YOU WERE STILL IN THE BI-CO, GAHHHHHH. D:
no subject
Date: 2010-12-01 09:32 (UTC)I KNOWWWW EVERY TIME YOU POST A PICTURE OF YOURSELF I GET ALL CREEPY SENPAI ON YOU AND I'M ALL LIKE "DAYUMMM".
Uh. I mean. D:
no subject
Date: 2010-12-01 13:30 (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-12-01 13:40 (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-12-02 00:14 (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-12-02 03:19 (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-12-02 20:50 (UTC)but yep yep! my grade 8 year was super fun. lots of ridiculous times for sure. ♥
no subject
Date: 2010-12-02 15:16 (UTC)While I want to say that I hope 1 does eventually ~disappear~ so to speak, if you're anything like me, it probably never will! This is not useful in the slightest, but I guess I'm just saying, while the scale may be different (I'm not sure), I understand the feeling completely. Still not useful, but I have my fingers crossed for you, in any case. I just went around in a circle, but I'm sleepy and about to go to bed so forgive me. Or not. I love you, ♥
no subject
Date: 2010-12-02 21:09 (UTC)